"Friendships never die; their legacy lives on, in the heart... "
Not just that, friends also help us grow at a spiritual level. Each soul is on a journey. Friends are guides who come into our lives, play their roles and move on. Don’t we all have friends who we were very close to at one point, but with whom we are no longer in touch with now? They drifted away from our life when their role as a guide was over. What friends do for us cannot be described in words. Just recall all those friends and make them feel happy, by saying thank you, that they exist.
It is important for us to have friends but many of us find it difficult to strike up a friendship. There are a few things that if you can follow, you will be rewarded with well-flourishing and long-lasting Friendship.
The first is to start a relationship with the right expectations. Don’t expect too much. If you start with high hopes, the relationship is likely to flounder. For anyone to fulfill your expectations, they need to understand what is expected of them. This understanding takes time. Besides, expectations are always two-sided, so having low expectations ensures the same from others. One of the drawbacks of starting a friendship with high expectations is that at every step, you start judging the person and his actions. (Stop Expecting Too Much). There is a constant dialogue going on in your mind where you are trying to judge if the person is fitting into your definition of a friend. Friends are the family we get to choose. But don’t expect too much from them too.
If you are too judgemental, you might focus only on the negatives and miss out on some of the finer qualities your friends might possess. (Stop Being Judgemental). People don’t necessarily have to fit into your image of a good person. There are many other ways in which people can be good. Also, if every person in your life fits into your definition of good, chances are that all the people in your life will be alike. If you are eclectic in your views, life will shower on you with abundance of friends.
Another important aspect of friendship is understanding that we all grow and change. Since we continue to grow, we continue to evolve. Hence, it is important that you don’t judge people by their past actions. Always give them another chance. See them with neutrality. That way you can start a relationship from an absolutely new perspective, like painting on a clean canvas. What you paint is then up to you.
Another golden rule is to have no preconceived notion about either the person or the relationship. What the relationship should involve should be determined by the experiences the two people share, and not by a fixed definition that is prevalent. The relationship can be an intense one or can be just a casual friendship where both people have the same idea of fun. If you don’t start with a fixed notion, the freedom in the relationship helps you grow and explore.
In any relationship, and especially in friendship, it is important to communicate clearly what you are feeling (Communication Is Important). Honest communication leads to the right expectations. Always speak frankly about the way you feel. This ensures that your friend understands you for who you are and not the image that she might have created in her mind. It also ensures that there is complete acceptance and trust in the relationship.
The more acceptance there is, the easier it is to trust. Eventually, trust is the basis for any strong relationship. But to develop trust you need to communicate clearly and be non-judgemental. Make sure you do your best to nurture the friendship.
"True friends are never apart, they may be separated by distance, but never by heart..."
