Act SELFISH, be SELFLESS

In this huge and diversified world there are many different kinds of people possessing different natures which have two broad categories: selfless nature and selfish nature. There are a lot of people who are more selfish rather than selfless. Here by selfish it means that just thinking about your own good and not caring about others feelings. These kinds of people are self-centered and self-absorbed. On the contrary the people who are real friendly, helpful, kind and who always smile brightly tend to be more selfless than selfish. If a person wants inner satisfaction and inner happiness, he can acquire it by being kind, selfless and forgivable.

Every human being faces hurdles in life and learns from his or her mistakes and experiences. The traits of selfishness and selflessness depend on person to person and on a type of personality a human possess. It also depends on the environment of the household, family and upbringing of that person. Human nature sometimes surprises you so much at some part of your life for instance when you face betrayal from your own best friend whom you’ve known for so long. That friend of yours suddenly breaks friendship with you because of his or her own personal reasons and completely cut ties with you. At that time you feel betrayed and hurt because that friend of yours suddenly became such a selfish person. This type of situation will effect deeply to any person who is such honest and selfless in friendships. There are people who have dual nature; by this it means a person who is delicate and friendly but he or she has an igniting jealousy factor inside them for every other person. This igniting jealousy factor develops selfishness automatically and as matter of fact these kinds of people feel threatened from their close ones. They think that whatever is theirs will be confiscated from them and they are very possessive of everything they have.

People need happiness and satisfaction in life without it they get frustrated and hopeless. If a person is going through a tough and complicated situation, he or she will feel lack of motivation and hopelessness that’s natural but a person who constantly depends on worldly things to keep him or her satisfied and happy will not be satisfied for long enough. Worldly possessions only keep you entertained and satisfied for a time being and then it fades away. For example there are people who crave success and attention, in order to do so they become self-obsessed and feel threatened from others who are in the same position as them. They try to compete so aggressively with others in the same position without actually showing that they are competing aggressively and somehow they become successful but this type of success is only for a time being because it is earned by unethical means. Soon they face an earth shattering downfall.

In order to feel endless happiness, satisfaction, hope and cheerful in life one must be kind, forgiving and selfless. Being a possessive and selfish person will lead to destruction of your own life and that person is never satisfied with anything because he or she is such self obsessed that other people’s feelings are so little in front of his own. Human nature is such open and broad that if one tries so hard to overcome the evil nature inside them, he or she can do it by making a strong will, accepting their mistakes and by seeking out their inside demons. Everyone one of us is selfish in some ways and selflessness is also present inside us. A person must keep their selfish nature in control and let out their selfless nature as well try to keep balance between everything. There is always a light of right path that is present inside every human being which keeps guiding us, seek out that light of hope and truth as well as hold on to it, then everyone of us will surely be better person then we were before. Purity comes from inside us if we just let the light of hope flow and keep smiling.

so ending up in the good notion : I read Somewhere ;-

"A true measure of a MAN is how he treats Someone who can do him actually no GOOD"

Friendship : A garden of Good or Evil

O my friends, there are no friends.” – Aristotle

A friend is a person capable of loving irrespective of whether he is being loved or not. Friendship can exist between the same sex: man-man, woman-woman, or opposite sex: man-woman. It transcends age and could subsist between even an old man and a small boy. Human beings also establish friendships with their pet animals such as cats, dogs, horses, doves and parrots. Friendship can also be felt in familial relationships between father and son, mother and daughter, husband and wife, brother and sister, elder brother and younger brother. Yet, more than friendship, love is the binding force in familial relationships. In a deeper sense, love is below friendship because it is an above/below relation, one of hierarchy and condition. It is implied, then, that friendship is freedom plus equality. It involves choice and volition.

The concept of friendship needs exploration because often a man is known by the company he keeps; knowing the company helps one to know oneself and develop his personality to the fullest. Each of our friends mirrors a rejected or acknowledged trait in us. They happen to be our friends because it is we in different forms, and a unified vision of them constitutes to the sameness of our identity. Generally, friendship exists for three reasons: a) virtue b) usefulness c) pleasure.

When virtue is the reason, friendship exists for the sake of friendship; where both like each other and cherish each other for some creditable values in the other’s personality. You wish to be the friend of that person for the sheer personality that other has. It has a magic in itself. It attracts you. And it is mutual. You know that you would even die to swear your friendship for that person. But you also know that the other would make you live than die for him/her. It is somewhat platonic in concept inasmuch as the other may not be/ all that intelligent and good looking, useful or capable of giving pleasure

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 A friendship of the second kind is formed for the utilitarian value of it. How useful so and so is to me? What can I benefit from him? Can I use his car? Will he use his reputation and influence to fetch me a good job? Will he lend me money in need? Thus a person may ask and maintains relationship for practical, professional, and political reasons. I remember the friendship I made with two others on a train journey from Indore to Ahmadabad. It was extremely useful for killing time during the journey. Further, all of us had to go to the bus-stand to continue our onward travel. Therefore we took an auto rickshaw till the bus-stand and shared the money. But then, once we boarded our buses to our destinations, we were looking forward to do our work for the purpose we were there. That is the quality of this; it is useful but lasts so long as the need for utility persists. Once we do away with the utility need, the friendship eventually dies. It holds good only for that moment and need.

Friendship of the third kind is formed essentially on account of the pleasure the relationship is capable of giving. He is a joker. The moment he enters, you forget all your worries. You cannot but wonder what new joke he has got up in his sleeve to make you roar into laughter. And he never disappoints you that way. She is cute, intelligent and charming. The very notion that she is your friend makes you feel proud. That she walks talks and takes coffee with you is enough. You are on cloud nine. The point rests here: How good is he/she in giving me pleasure--physically, emotionally, mentally and materialistically? .....

 Now to the question: Which of the three is good? It appears that type A is good, but it is not as useful or joyful as the other types. Type B is good, yet it falls short of longevity and quality. Type C too is good, but how long one enjoys only pleasure in life? How many jokes can a person take in a day? And does it give the same pleasure as it gave to him in the beginning? Doesn’t he reach a saturation point, a mental and emotional exhaustion? Where he would rather prefer to be left alone to himself? Would prefer to shed a tear inside rather than go on laughing at the follies of the world?

 In close observation, it would be revealed that all these type differences are not watertight compartments. They overlap with each other. A relationship started on the basis of usefulness may also get elevated to the status of virtue in due course. Similarly a virtuous friendship also could soon impart usefulness and pleasure. It would be an ideal package to have all the three together. But you see my friend, how difficult it is to form relationships? Virtue-based relationships are formed mostly during childhood, schooldays. But once one tastes the coldness of reality and learns to conduct oneself a successful professional, the circumstance demands one to have friendships on the basis of usefulness/pleasure. Be it sharing the food or going for a picnic or deciding to invest in the same company shares together. Though I said earlier that it is capable of developing a virtue out of it in due course, mind you, it is not a virtue in itself. Virtue-based friendship is fantastic for this reason: it lasts till the end of this universe! Though it is disheartening to realize that most of the virtue-based relationships is formed during our young, immature (ironically because we were thinking at that time that we were the most matured of the lot!), developing stage--the mind then was remarkably uninhibited and the ears listened without prejudice and the tongues twisted smoothly to the words that flew out from the bottoms of hearts--it is gladdening to know that value-based friendships are also formed in a professional/political/materialistic milieu. Often less in number, it is formed, surprisingly, in a short span and lasts till eternity! “You know your friend in a moment, than your acquaintances in a life time.”

Recognition of enmity even when friendship is alive and kicking can give a cosmic and comprehensive view of a relationship resulting in its intensified quality and enhanced exchange of friendly love. But leaving this aspect of friendship in the dark, will soon render a relationship arbitrary and leaves its partners in a quandary with rankling fear for continuity/discontinuity. That’s why, when we preserve the fond memories of our friends in the attics, refrigerators and pickle bottles of our minds and hearts, let’s open those wicket-gates of our souls in esteem of our enemies too!

ENEMY can Turn up to the BEST FRIEND...

HAPPY READING